Support Parents

Support Parents – Why They Do What They Do

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Why do parents of children with special needs do all the things they do for others?  What is their motivation?  Why do 91 parents agree to be support parents for FSN of Wake?  Why did the program have over 2,100 hours of volunteer time given in the last year?  Why do parents agree to give up their Saturday morning to come and be trained as support parents?  Why are some of the founding members still involved with the program 15 years later?  Why do parents agree to talk with other parents who have just learned about a diagnosis for their child?  Why would anyone agree to talk with another parent knowing it might bring back those terrible feelings and memories?  Why do parents make phone calls to strangers not knowing what will be said or what will happen?

There certainly has to be some overwhelming reason that parents do all these things.  The overriding reason support parents give, is they want to help someone else make it through.  They use the knowledge they have gained from their experience to benefit other parents.  They have reached a state where they have come to terms with the disability of their child and they want to help other parents who are experiencing what they have already been through.  Even if services fall into place quickly, there is still the emotional strain and stress that has to be dealt with.  The arrival of a child that does not fit the dream child is a terrible blow.  Many describe it as being in a dark cave or hole with no light to show the way out or like being on a deserted island.  This is what support parents wish to help with – to show the way out.  To show that life can be good again and there can be happiness and laughter.

Many times people feel there is some hidden motive or agenda.  But the “Why?” can be answered with a simple desire to help others – there is no ulterior motivation.  Support parents feel that the experiences they have can help them have empathy with others experiencing the same things.  They have been there and understand.  Support parents don’t set out to be a role model but that is what they become.  Many parents that are helped describe this characteristic.

What support parents do is on a volunteer basis.  They donate their time, gas, etc.  They do not receive any compensation for their time or expenses because of the program’s limited budget.  Many go the extra mile to meet with the family and sometimes friendships develop.

Seeing parents you have worked with at a later time and seeing them happy and enjoying their child, and life makes it all worthwhile.  It is also the desire of support parents to “pay back”, to give back what they have received, by helping others.  We want to pay back what someone did for us by passing the help on to someone else.  That’s why we do what we do and why so many people will continue to be support parents.  It is the greatest, most rewarding, “non-paying” job around!

Mabel Dillard
Support Parent

Who then can so softly bind up the wound of another as he who felt the same wound himself.

-Thomas Jefferson